I wrote these tidbits in August, when things are slow at BRP. But then all hell broke loose as The Man tore me up. The Damn Insatiable Man! I haven’t been able to get this posted, and like any work of art (at least of the Velvet Elvis variety, the visual art equivalent of BRP), I keep tinkering with this as it sits on my computer. In order to get this posted as November kicks in and the Fall brings its cool, crisp days and lots and lots of concerts and football, here are some idiotic thoughts to keep you occupied.
I saw this on a car, and recognized that it was from Massachusetts right away. No one south of Rhode Island uses the word “wicked” outside of references to The Wizard of Oz. I didn’t know whether a “wicked pissah” is good or bad, and did some research. I have found out that “wicked pissah” is actually a good thing – according to the font of all truth in the world, Wikipedia, it means something that is akin to “great” either realistically or sarcastically. So it would be an appropriate use of the phrase to say that BRP itself is wicked pissah, either realistically (I hope) or sarcastically (I fear).
Now this is truly a foot stool, right? Isn’t that basically the most awful piece of furniture you have ever seen? I use horrible men’s taste in all my decorating, but even this one crossed the line for me. And do you know why? Nike! I’m just not a Nike guy. But if they had this in Reebok….
Now this little triptych was seen at a Mexican restaurant in Port Angeles, Washington. You have to go left to right to get the combination just right – and you may have to blow up the picture a bit to see it all. It’s pure artistry, whether intended or not, so take your time and study this closely. Ready? Ok, on the left is an Aztec warrior-type holding a woman with remarkably large breasts. He appears to have looked down at her and then glanced up and said “oh, Jesus.” Move on to the second picture, and lo and behold, there is Jesus! Right there watching the whole thing. Aztec boy is caught in mid-lust! He feels guilty about this, and he needs something to take off the edge. Thus, on to item 3. How about grabbing that Corona on the right? You know, the one being held by the parrot? Ahhh, that’s better. I think I saw this same triptych over an altar in Florence, Italy. Or maybe in the basement of a frat house in Virginia? This is all funny as hell to me.
BRP is everywhere! Here is a corkboard inside of a restaurant in Portland, Oregon with the BRP card right there! It’s amazing how it got there, don’t you think? But not as amazing as Portland itself. When you leave Portland, you go through beard/tattoo/scarification/piercing withdrawal that lasts about 15 seconds.
Here’s what happens when you don’t read BRP or don’t acknowledge it. It’s truly useful in everyday life! Where else can you learn about the meaning of wicked pissah or see Mexican restaurant triptychs? You need to come back often or suffer the “listing” consequences.
I’m going to get Einstein after you if you don’t watch out – he would have been a reader of BRP. How do I know? Because above is a long lost picture of my relativity man.
What has the invention of the cell phone camera done? We see videos of everything now, but mysteriously, nothing of Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster. Hmmm, makes you wonder, right? Still, there are those that continue to believe. Me? Like Graham Parker, I’m waiting on the UFOs.
Want to see the greatest tourist attraction of all time? Just below Pike Place Market in Seattle, it’s the famous gum wall! Yes, you too can chew gum and stick it onto the wall as a decoration. Pull it and make it look drippy, or just stick a big wad right there. It’s actually not one wall, but three, and it covers an entire alley – both sides of one passage and then another wall going up the hill. It’s interesting in a gross way. And if you think about it enough, puke will go up and down your throat. Isn’t that neat?
The Canadian response to the gum wall? Vancouver has a concrete plant right in the tourist mecca of Granville Island, so they dressed up the slag silos as art. I think they did it pretty well, too. Agreed?
Hillbillies aren’t confined to Appalachia. Want to watch the local American Legion baseball team in style and comfort? How about on a couch or La-Z-Boy? Hmmm, well in West Virginia, they burn those puppies after a big game.
I think that’s enough of the silly and absurd for now. But I’ll find more and put them on BRP for my amusement. As always, thanks for reading and coming back again and again. It’s really fun for me to do this, and really humbling that anyone other than me would want to read it. I’m honored that you’ve chosen to spend some of your valuable time checking out the blog. Here’s a great big BRP thanks to all of you, and be thankful that this blog doesn’t come with a scratch ‘n sniff card!
My name is Bill, and I live in the greater Philadelphia area. I love music, and I have a lot of opinions. This site is primarily focused on music, but sometimes I get off track. I hope you enjoy.