I don't quite know whether I want to do this post or not. I have another batch of band names that I commented on. Are you getting bored with this? I'm sort of on the fence about it. It's kind of fun to riff on, but I think I need something fresher to write about. I'm going to do this one more time. Until I decide to do it again.
Devo – too clever by half. A band that started from the premise that humans and society are devolving, not evolving, and then took the first two syllables for their name. What art or Ivy League school did these egg heads attend? Legacies probably. Don’t they know that the Enlightenment is still ongoing and things are pretty much waaaay better than they were? And this band wasn’t very good either even when they wore flower pots on their heads. Poseurs.
Dashboard Confessional – Pussy name by a band that sells urgent, “run away with me and save me” music to females of a certain type. The romance novel equivalent in the rock world. But I like some of their songs.
Aerosmith - I have no idea what this name is all about. Like the Stones, the name just seems to exist now as part of the rock pantheon. It must have something to do with aeroplanes, but it’s not obvious to me. Oh, and they are a great American band, and one that did the “rise and fall and rise” again thing that not many bands can manage. But what, pray tell, happened to Steven Tyler to turn him into a TV reality show celebrity guy?
Interpol – Rather than using the American name (The Po Po), this great band seized upon the European-based international police force’s name. It’s not the greatest name. The Police beat them to it in a way, but they were a great band for a while, too. That is, until Sting decided that the world actually DOES revolve around him. At that point, BRP and The Police went their separate ways. King of Pain, indeed.
The Jam – Strawberry or Grape? Oh no, not that kind of jam, but the rock kind. OK, I get it and I like it. And I absolutely loved this band, one of the best of the best, immortalized forever by having their name spray-painted on the cinderblock wall of BRP’s garage. It was nice of the boys to drop by and get their picture taken at my house.
Dr. Dog – I don’t get it. It’s short and memorable. But I don’t get it. Ruff ruff.
Drive-By Truckers – Redneck-y name for an alt-country band. A great studio band but I saw them in Atlanta and wasn’t that impressed. Nonetheless, it’s a good name – I’m a truck drivin’ man with a truck drivin’ tan, right?
Spoon – Seriously? You named your band after a dining utensil? Maybe it works – you’re going to spoon feed me some great music. And basically everyone can use a spoon. But then again, it’s a dining utensil. One thing is for sure: if you’re looking for great, consistent indie rock, Spoon is the right stuff upon which to gorge.
How about we do a quick riff on some band names? One sentence per band name only sort of like the grand finale at the fireworks show. Got it? Here we go:
Bongwater – Nasty, smelly stuff that gross animals licked when you knocked over the bong in your buddy’s basement.
Butthole Surfers – I don’t even want to think of this band name without a tube of Preparation H in my hand.
ZZ Top – I’ve got the papers, where is the weed?
Molly Hatchet – Scalp this stupid name.
Urban Verbs – They are so much different from the suburban ones, it’s not funny.
Depeche Mode – Given their musical output, it should be Douche Mode.
A Flock of Seagulls – Sorry, all I can come up with is silly hair-do’s.
Metallica – The essence of metal dominance written Latin style.
Radiohead – I guess it’s better than bed head or hat head, but it’s got to be an interesting look whatever it is.
Mavericks – My first car was a Ford Maverick and it was nice of this band to name themselves after that vehicle.
Rancid – What you smell like if you don’t wear deodorant.
X – It took 23 rejected letters before they settled on this one.
Titus Andronicus – Shakesperean punk rock demands to be heard at the Globe Theater.
The Outlaws – What your parents call the group of people that married their kids.
Vanilla Fudge – What the heck is white chocolate anyway?
Yes – So how come I say “no” when they come on the radio?
Panic! At The Disco – Another way to say “overrated”
Smashing Pumpkins – Kicking jack o’ lanterns is more fun.
Phew. Enough. Check back this weekend for a very different kind of post. Oh, and I still need to get to my big Super Bowl Halftime Show Idea. With that, I'm off to Pyeongyang to do the skeleton. Rock on, gangstas. I'm going to leave you with one song that I always loved - but it's weird and goofy and is a testament to the quality of drugs in 1970.
My name is Bill, and I live in the greater Philadelphia area. I love music, and I have a lot of opinions. This site is primarily focused on music, but sometimes I get off track. I hope you enjoy.