Back to the Name Game

Hey all, you remember this one don't you?  Without any research whatsoever, I simply take a band's name and give my thumbs up or down on the name.  Are you ready for some more of this action?  Good, because here we go again.

Jethro Tull – For those of you that put your albums or CDs in alphabetical order, do you file this under J for Jethro or T for Tull?  I decided that since it’s not a real person’s name, you go with J.  But it’s questions like this that vex the normally drug-fueled brain of a rocker, and that make you curse these guys for making you freakin’ THINK.  Odd name, forgotten band among the classic rockers, and that’s a damn shame.

The Doobie Brothers – Perhaps this is what the Dead should have named themselves.  Naming a band after reefer is part of the rock glorification of drugs, an unfortunate but central part of the rock world.  I would have used this name when I was 15, too.

Dinosaur Jr. – rotten name.  What, are they Barney’s younger brother?  I like them, but fellas, seriously?

Pearl Jam – oh, that Eddy Vedder is so funny!  Named after his spunk.  I guess he rejected jizz, wad, and cum as band names because they weren’t clever enough.  I can’t take the pretentious buttwipe himself, but they had some pretty rockin’ albums early on.    
The New Pornographers – Is this one of the worst band names ever or what?  Why not name themselves something like “Post-Larry Flynt” or something.  And the band has a number of women in it, including the incomparable Neco Case.  Me don’t understand.  But they are a band worth acquainting yourself with nonetheless. 

The dBs – the abbreviation for decibels is a pretty good name for a loud rock band.  I’m giving it a thumbs up, just like I do for the band itself.

The Dead Milkmen and Death Cab For Cutie – awful, terrible, stupid names.  DCFC is actually a damn good band saddled with a crappy name.  I think it’s cost them commercial success.  It’s not as bad as And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead, F*cked Up or Pissed Jeans, all bands that threw commercial success to the wind right from the start just with their names.  The Dead Milkmen is what stupid teenagers from Philly name their one-hit wonder of a rock band. 

Whiskeytown – Why not name themselves “Blacksburg” instead?  Oh, then the band’s name would actually be Beertown?  I like the name as alcohol abuse is a national obsession, even among my friends who tell me new alcohol stories every week which are followed by “but I don’t really drink that much.”  And Ryan Adams is prolific, having written 50% of all songs published since 1990, and he needed a few band names to perform under.  And this one was better than the Cardinals. 

OK, my non-drinking, non-doping friends.  It's off to enjoy a beautiful day in November.  You take care and check back with me soon.  I've been working on a review of the recent Protomartyr show, and it's a doozie.  I'll post it shortly.  In the meantime, put on the headphones but forget to turn off the main speakers and let the whole house rock in glory.