Jolly Old St. Nick Names

Hey y'all, I've been thinking a lot about St. Nick and how he always brings me sticks, ashes and dirt, and it got me to thinking about his name.  Or his various nicknames.  Santa Claus?  Yup, that's one.  Kris Kringle?  Yeah, that's another.  How about The Man With The Bag?

How in the devil did Brian Setzer go from the Stray Cats to becoming the king of big band/rockabilly Christmas?  I'm sure there is a story, but it's quite a career path regardless. 

All of these nicknames got me to thinking.  You see, I'm a big nickname guy.  I give them out all the time, and have done so forever.  For instance, at Virginia Tech (I would say "at college," but then again, if you can't go to college, you go to Tech) there were FOUR people named "Bill" on my dorm hallway.  We couldn't all go by Bill, so pretty soon there was a Wally, a Spike and a Bubba.  Guess who stayed Bill?  Yup, me.  You see, if you give out the names, you usually don't get tagged yourself.  In the spirit of the season of giving, I've always found it better to give than receive on the nickname front.  I'm not sure what that is all about, but it's just my thang. 

And being the cynical, ugly, and mean dude that I am, you generally don't want to be on the receiving end of one of my nicknames.  The college nicknames were tame.  Do you have a physical attribute that makes you stand out?  Well, I've tagged people Secretariat (horse jaw), Liver Lips (pretty self-descriptive), Blockhead (large, prominent, square noggin), Umlaut (you figure it out) and Ratso Rizzo (herky-jerky motions just like the guy in Midnight Cowboy).

Other people had certain combinations of physical and behavioral attributes that led to their monikers.  Superfly?  Yup, I know one.

A couple of freshman in college that followed around an upperclassman?  Big Puppy and Little Puppy.  A dude who wanted to hang out with us at work when we went out for beers?  Little Brother.  A guy who weasled around the office and looked like a lab rat?  Rodent.  A woman with the zesty personality of a TV character?  Lilith. 

A wimpy dude who whined constantly?  Milquetoast.  A person who would suck up to whatever boss was in the room at the time?  Lap Dog.  My buddy who got the worst assignments all the time?  Piss Boy.

And of course, the play on names.  The person who's last name was Pelt?  Beaver.  A guy named Clifford?  Big Dog.  The big rough dude named Jerry?  Jerry Amour.

I did violate the rule on nicknames, however.  I gave myself one when I created this blog.  BillyRocksPhilly - puke!  Oh well, that's how it goes.  Ultimately, you eat your young. 

I don't know how I get on these mindless riffs, but I'm glad you hang out with me while I do.  I'm still working on that LCD Soundsystem review.  And I also have that Vermeer, Painter of Light thing.  Oh, and a couple of jaunts primarily of photos that I've been saving up.  Looks like my holidays will be filled hanging out with you and yours.  Be sure to give the website address this holiday and turn more people on to the site.  It's always the best way to get back at your enemies, which is what the spirit of giving can sometimes be about.  See you soon - you know I'm thinking of you all the time.