Living Like A Rocker, Part Two

I see you came back for more.  Sucker!  Haha, just kidding, it’s great to see you again.
 
As you’ll recall, I started to write about how to bring rock into your everyday life to drum up the humdrum.  Part One was posted a few days back, and if you missed it, man, scroll down and get caught up. 

Here’s Part Two, on a lovely spring-like February day, with more great tips on the entire rocker thing.  Of course, everything I put into these posts is 100% guaranteed to get you signed to a multi-million dollar album deal.  Not to worry, just like the Sex Pistols, you can learn how to play the instruments later.  For now, it’s all about the STYLE, baby!  Ready?  Hang on, Sloopy, here we go:

Engage the Neighbors:  This is a nice way of saying turn it up to 11 while you are chilling outside.  Your neighbors will then come over to tell your teenage kids to turn it down.  Then they’ll discover that it’s you, not the kids, blasting the music.  Ask them if they want a drink, and then continue playing the music and rocking hard.  Convert them.  Make your neighborhood the noise ordinance destroyers of the township.  Tell them about Article 69 of the Constitution that guarantees the freedom to rock.  It’s good practice for helping to explain the decibel level to your friendly neighborhood police force when they come to visit, too.  Hey, you pay taxes, your township is safe, you may as well give the cops something to do, right?

Naming the Pet:  Yes, another place where you can show your rock coolness.  Under this rule, you simply take your favorite rocker’s name and use it in vain.  Naming the dog Bruce or JB is kind of cool.  Don’t try this with your kid unless you go with something like Axl or Hole.  But a pet can carry it because THEY DON’T CARE.  You can even name them after bands, like Foghat or Jethro Tull.  Pets dig this, especially if you feed them regularly and let them pee and poop in your house.  And calling out for them when they are carrying a badass rock name simply sets you into a different class (maybe different breed?) and you become the envy of the neighborhood.  Why, your more non-rock heavy neighbors will ask themselves, why didn’t I name my dog Slash?  Heh heh, you did and you are COOL.

Dinner Reservations:  Now, here’s a harmless and fun one.  When you make your dinner reservations, use a rock ‘n roll name to reserve your table.  You can go obscure, such as using Dewey Finn, the Jack Black character in the terrifically fun School of Rock.  I’ve used it before but it’s never generated recognition from the hostess.  It’s my “go to” name when I’m messing around.  Or you can go big – say, use Paul McCartney, or Angus Young, or if you’re a woman (or simply want to be) use Tina Turner or Janis Joplin.  You can even make up huge lies to accompany the questions that the big-time name is going to bring, such as your mom used to be a groupie with the Beatles and named her only son after Paul, or you’ve attended an Angus Young namesake convention and jammed with the master on stage while each of you were wearing his signature school boy outfit.  Whatever you want, its harmless fun, gets your creative juices flowing, and is very good inside joke material.

Now that was fun, right?  It was for me.  And as you know, keeping BRP happy is the number one rule of BRP!  No, that's not true at all.  It's all about YOU and your fulfillment.  Anyway, I have more rules of living like a rocker, and will happily share them with you in the near future if you will just come on back and waste some time with me. 

Next up:  a couple more live reviews.  And I need to get some more damn music on the site, don't you think?  Not to worry, kiddos, sleep is for wimps here at BRP, and I am hard at work finding for you.  See you next time.