Name Games

Best and Worst Band Names.  How big of a subject is this one?  An analysis of band names from me, a guy who titled his blog BillyRocksPhilly.  Hit the “nurse” button, pot calling kettle!  Laugh if you will, and I hope you do, but rock bands spend sometimes months and sometimes minutes coming up with names, and there is always a purpose behind them.  Some are hits, some are misses.  Let’s jump right in with some good ones:

Luscious Jackson – I love the word “luscious,” don’t you?  It’s sensual.  Let me whisper it in your ear.  So any band name with “luscious” in it is probably going to be a BRP hit.  I don’t know who Jackson is, but to describe any person as luscious is high praise in my world. 

Arctic Monkeys – Stupid name dreamed up by teenagers. 

Bad Company – oohh, perfect name for a rock band.  Mama told me not to hang out with trash or I’ll start smelling like it myself.  Hanging out with Bad Company makes you a rock ‘n roll rebel and outlaw.  That’s the whole point of rock, right? 

The Beatles – the British answer to Buddy Holly’s Crickets, but a terrible name and misspelled on top of it.  Thankfully, this was about the only bad thing about these guys.  I remember reading an interview with some rock star, and while I can’t remember who it was, he said that the Beatles probably wrote about 85% of all the rock songs that can be written.  An overstatement, but we know from whence this sentiment arises.  “Great” is too small of a word to describe them.  Still, the name sucks.

The Guess Who – Funny Canadian stuff!  Someone asks “who is this” in reference to a song, and your reply is Guess Who.  They say, “I don’t know, I give up, tell me” and you say Guess Who.  Clever!  And a damn good band to boot.

Black Flag – A punk band named after a deadly pesticide.  Yup, that’s good stuff.

Blondie – Debbie Harry has blond hair and overflows with sex appeal.  Rock is about rebellion, but it’s also about sex, and so this name is fantastic:  here she is, Blondie, and she's stalking you!

Blue Oyster Cult – Love the band, hate the name.  Cults give me the willies.  Blue oysters give me nausea.  Combine the two and I freakin’ fear the reaper. 

The Bottle Rockets – if you’re from the south, you’re experienced with bottle rockets.  They shoot high in the air and explode in a blaze of glory.  Testosterone levels jump, just like when you turn up the volume to eleven and strum that Stratocaster.  Have you ever held a bottle rocket in your hand then lit it and held it until it takes off?  It’s really scary.  And really fun.  It’s even better to break off the stick, put it under your neighbor’s dorm room door, and light that thing.  Been there, done that.

BR5-49 – Alt-country band paying homage to Hee Haw, the Soul Train of country music.  Sheer perfection!  Hey Grandpa, what’s for dinner?  I gotta do something, even if it's wrong.

That's enough for today.  But you know where this is going.  I have lots, lots more.  Jump in if you want to comment, the water is fine.  I have a few reviews to get to as well.  Patience, grasshopper, I'll get there, but I'm busy these days.  Talk to you soon, luscious ones.