Rock 'n Roll Pet Peeves, Round Two

I’m back with round two of the rock ‘n roll pet peeves.  Did you like the first ones?  They were pretty good, right?  Anyway, I try not to complain too much, and these are all for fun.  No shows for me until next weekend, and I have to keep this discerning crowd entertained.  And with that, here we go:

1. VIP Areas.What are these all about?  I don’t think they were around when rock ‘n roll got started, nor do I remember seeing them at Woodstock, or in the clubs of my youth.  Like a lot of things in this country, they are emblematic of a nation that is too wealthy (think dog spas).  Anyway, I go to clubs now and people have paid extra to sit upstairs on a chair as far away as possible from the fun and the band.  This is true at the Foundry, TLA, the Electric Factory, and others.  I look around on the floor and everyone is grooving.  I look up at the VIP section, and the gilded ones are barely tapping their feet as they sit and update their Facebook page.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  There are places where I like to be treated as a VIP.  I like first class on airplanes.  I like corporate boxes at sporting events (because free tickets with food is always nice).  And some people are short or handicapped, and need something different.  But when it comes to rock ‘n roll, I want to be part of the everyman crowd, chancing that I won’t get Mr. 6’4” or hyper-fan by me (which I do not most of the time), feeling the rush as the band performs just feet away from me, and otherwise in the milieu of the crowd.  I don’t want to be aloof, rich and “cool,” and then go cooing to people about what a great show I saw sitting on my butt looking at my phone.  The poseurs abound. 
    
   
2. Tinnitus.The scourge of rockers everywhere, tinnitus is that ringing, whooshing, buzzing in your ears from listening to too much loud music.  I have it.  I can hear it all the time, particularly at night when everything is quiet, but even during the day when there isn’t lots of hubbub going on.  It sucks, but I’ve had it for so long that it’s just sort of there for me now.  The worst part?  No cure.  And it continually gets worse – there is no bounce back here.  So am I going to turn down the rock in the car or quit going to shows?  Don’t be ridiculous.  I do wear ear plugs at almost every show I attend now because I want to continue to hear what my grandkids are saying.  But I can’t help but turn up a song in the car when it’s really grooving.  There should be a saying for this syndrome.  How about this?  Tinnitus:  it blows more than a groupie.  
    
3. Checking the Phone.I hate this well beyond rock shows.  For heaven’s sake, be in the moment and demonstrate some self-control, a skill normally mastered as a child.  What are you looking at on that damn thing that is more important than the band on stage that should be melting your face off?  I see more people texting, checking their emails, updating their Facebook pages, and doing other stuff on their phones during the show.  “Hey, look at me, I’m at the Springsteen show!”  Yeah, what song is he playing?  Tell them tomorrow, be in the moment now. 
    
4. The Farter.The scourge of dance floors, concerts, and other crowded spaces around the globe.  We’ve all experienced this, right?  You’re packed into a crowd, and someone is breaking some nasty stuff that makes you want to puke.  Dude, do you need a new diaper now?  Seriously, change your diet or else come to the show with barf bags for your neighbors. 
    
5. Bands That Are Late.I don’t like people being late in my normal day-to-day life.  It’s a show of disrespect right off the bat:  you know, my time is more important than yours.  But when bands don’t come on stage when they are supposed to, it’s really annoying.  Hey, guys, some of us have jobs you know, how do you think we afforded these tickets?  It’s one reason that I like seeing bands full of baby boomers – they’re too old to stay up partying all night and want to get off the stage at a reasonable time, too. 
    

Hey, that’s it.  Did I miss anything?  Have pet peeves of your own to share?  Let me know, I’m an equal opportunity complainer.  And really, are any of these things so bad?  I think we can live with them all and continue to be happy, right? 

I hope you enjoyed, and I hope you were entertained.  Rock on, gangstas!